Bloody hell.. Our stocks have crashed, the Australian dollar and shares have plummeted; we only get 0.5% on fixed deposits, and our Superannuation is stuffed.
Woe, woe, this recession is hitting everybody really hard.
Things couldn’t be much worse judging by this:
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of
10c coins, rather than dollar notes...while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the Bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
them and ask them what they meant …..you or them!
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Toorak fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!
A truckload of Germans was caught sneaking into Syria.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, ….they now have to share a room.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them
I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a
truck.
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