A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"What's your name?" he asks
"Belmore", the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?" he asks
Belmore looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the mujahadeen; so I told the local Imam about my gift, which got to Osama Bin Laden, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of Al Qaeders most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the local mosque to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near groups of people coming to pray, and listening in. I uncovered some people that did not share the 'jihad' ideals, and surprisingly did not hate all the people they were supposed to, so I was greatly rewarded with lots of halal meat from the Imam. I ended up settling down with a few wives, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar, he's dellusional. He didn't do any of that shit."
