I agree with you. There is a price to pay for tolerance of individual differences and valuing individual rights over a commitment to community and common good.
achieving both is a balancing act unless you have been able to align your personal values and interests with that of the community at large.
I don’t believe it costs so terribly much at a psychological level to do that unless your predominant schema is narcissistic (and here I am not talking about malignant narcissism as that is a different matter and nothing is ever right for them because life is always a game and always about personal gain and interests)
I think we have tipped too far into being a narcissistic society where ego and playing the game and meeting one’s personal interests predominates. But since I have some understanding of how meta values ebb and flow and change I know this era will pass - though the next era will have its own ugliness (one I can already see in some hotcopper posters). that is life.
in the meantime I am happy to say that the community I live in displays pretty much those “old fashioned values “. I have contact with many young people and I think that they are a promise for the future. Probably much better than our generation was at that age
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