THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

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    GoodMorning......

    .


    THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE


    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

    He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity;

    I enjoy every minute ofit.

    3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On

    Welfare Depend on Me!

    4.. Some people are alive only because

    it's illegal to kill them.

    5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.



    6.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

    7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.



    11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
    why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.



    16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things

    I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    19.. Procrastinate !!! Now !!!

    &nbs p;20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts;

    Do You Want Fries With That?



    21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins

    with a cash advance

    23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease

    was already taken.

    25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

    26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it

    uses up three thousand times the memory.

    27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken,

    a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and
    Wesson.

    30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going
    on.
    <+><+><+>

 
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