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This is what the GOLD threads sound like to me.The Simpsons said...

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    This is what the GOLD threads sound like to me.

    The Simpsons said it best.

    From his treehouse, through a telescope, Bart observes men chugging the tonic and running indoors to their female partners.

    Bart: OK, it's not painfully clear the adults are definitely paving the way for an invasion by the saucer people.
    Milhouse: You fool! Can't you see it's a massive government conspiracy?
    Or have they gotten to you too?
    [he and Bart start wrestling]
    Lisa: Hey! Hey, hey, stop it! Stop it! Why are you guys jumping to such ridiculous conclusions? Haven't you ever heard of Occam's Razor? "The simplest explanation is probably the correct one."
    Bart: [condescending] So what's the simplest explanation?
    Lisa: I don't know. Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they have to get home before dark.
    Everyone: Aah! Reverse vampires! Reverse vampires!
    [Lisa sighs]

    In the treehouse, the neighborhood kids try to figure out what's up with the adults.

    Bart: So finally, we're all in agreement about what's going on with the adults. Milhouse?
    Milhouse: [steps up to blackboard] Ahem. OK, here's what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people --
    Bart: Thank you.
    Milhouse: -- under the supervision of the reverse vampires --
    Lisa: [sighs]
    Milhouse: -- are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. [sotto voce] We're through the looking glass, here, people...
    -- A conspiracy theory Oliver Stone would be proud of, "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
    choice

 
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