Abdulla was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked Abdulla if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!' Paddy handed his drink back and said 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!'
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?' Paddy replies 'I don't know! It's your plane!!'
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on?'
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.. She undresses, lies spread out on the bed & says 'You know what I wan't, dont you?' 'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole bed by the looks of it!'
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said that in his professional opinion it was a death trap.
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbour's dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' and storms off.. He comes back upstairs five minutes later, and his wife asks 'What did you do?' Paddy replies 'I've put the dog in our garden; let's see how they like it'
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!' Paddy says 'What's his name?' Mick replies 'Miles from London '
