I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.
