a mate of mine in Oz (ex yank and he's a bike person) asked me to get him a King of the mountain pokadot Leclerc shirt - since I'm that close to a Leclerc that if I pee on a windy day - the spray hits the windows of cars in their car park -
so, on my return to (sort of) home last evening - I went to leclerc this morning to see what I could get for him - the order is for one T shirt and one cap -- here's my 'edited for sensitive people' message to him
"Ok, there's really bad news and there's tragic news ---------- the tragic news is that the T shirts are out - without actually killing someone. -- When I first walked into Leclerc - a woman walked in front of me - wearing exactly what you want --------- as I fumbled to type out a message to ask where I got one - the ****** disappeared into the crowd. - then - I found that many of the girls in there were wearing them - so, I asked one I knew and she said - all sold out - weeks back. So - I asked one at the checkout and she said to speak to the Leclerc - strange office place outside of the supermarket a few metres -- she also said - all gone. So, I crash tackled one bloke wearing one - checked the size - too small - so, I dragged the body behind some furniture in the furniture section - then, I found one that I'm sure looked the right size - it was on a fairly short but, really dumpy young woman - and the shirt looked about 20 sizes too big - so, I crash tacked her too - but, her boyfriend works for security and he was on me like a shot with 2 mates - they dragged me outside screaming 'we're sick of you ******* Ozzies and Yanks trying to steal our shirts - so, ****** off' ------ at that point - it didn't seem like it was an easy negotiation - so, I tried for a cap --------- and, that's where the news is just bad - not tragic --------- there ARE caps available - but, you can't buy them - you have to spend 30 Euros in one section of the store - and, you get your goods and some sort of scratchit card - which when you scratch - gives you a win or lose - and, the prizes in the win range from your own space shuttle with mars holiday home or a Leclerc T shirt - the chances are really good - about 1 in 5 million so the girl told me ------------- well - there it is"
