to me - and, I can't speak with recent experience, but, I doubt if much has changed - by a country mile the biggest area that can produce a harmonious situation once one has dementia is the management of it -
and, for family and friends - it's never easy.
But, the sooner one comes to grips that the person you knew has gone - to what degree is individual - but, the reality is that - they have partially gone,
The trick is to control your own emotions ---------- if the person doesn't remember - then, they just don't remember - learn to not be disappointed about that, learn as fast as possible not to try to get them to remember - they don't have a problem with it (after a while) - only you do.
In the more advance stages - if they say there's a flock of chooks in the kitchen and they have to walk through them --------- then - don't try and force them to believe there's not chooks --------------- just shoosh the chooks (that you can't see) out of the way.
some say that reinforces fantasies - but, I saw time and time and time again - excellent dementia managers - have happy harmonious situations where - insistence on 'truth' brought about tears and sorrow
it's all management and, prepare oneself for anything - the sweetest old lady who never harmed a fly in life can turn into the most ??????? troublesome item on the menu and the most grumpy angry man through life can turn into a flower with a smile every day ----------- expect anything.
