I had two close friends who chose their death. Neither was unwell but in his words he was “spent”. He simply didn’t have it in him any more. He and his wife had spoken about it for years and deeply connected to each other they made that decision. They sold everything, distributed the money, rang their close friends and flew to Switzerland with a change of underwear, enough to enjoy a day or two of pleasure and then lay down together for the last time
The phone calls were precious memories and we felt privileged to be privy to these last days of life but reactions of friends were interesting just as we see on hotcopper. From downright anger to deep sadness and everything in between. My own thoughts were that as a friend however sad I felt that these generous, lovely crazy, joyous and hilarious friends might no longer be in my life it was their choice and thus to love them to the end and beyond - and that’s it
subsequently I have pondered it regularly. It was a clean, neat ending. It was thought through. It was planned (talked about for ten years and one year to finalise) and at any time they might have backed out. It was practical and beautifully managed.
I’ve been involved here with the first Australian coffin club, and with a group supporting end of life for those with life threatening diseases. It’s a fascinating window into a complex matter. The prospect of death has so many overlays for people but notwithstanding all the fears of malfeasance, it seems more cruel to insist on people living when they would rather not, and worse to insist on them living a life of pain and suffering when they would rather not.
the Hippocratic oath - what does no harm really mean when medical intervention is focused on keeping people alive only for the sake of them being physically alive.
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