Experts have found the following analysis to be nearly 100% accurate but feel free to edit in your own preferences
1. The Australian Financial Review> is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Canberra Times> is read by people who think they run the country
3. The Australian> is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles
4. The Sydney Morning Herald> is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The Australian.
5. The Courier Mail> is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they didn't have to leave Queensland to do it.
6. The Age> is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The Melbourne Herald Sun> is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train
8. The Sydney Daily Telegraph> is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated
9. The West Australian> is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state and would like to do so again as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.
10. The Hobart Mercury> is (slowly) read by people who are running another country, but need the Aussie Rules scores.
11. Crikey-Save the Planet> is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are homosexual, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not conservatives.
12. The Adelaide Advertiser> is read by people trapped in a line at the supermarket waiting for the electricity to come back on.
13. The Northern Territory Times> is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
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