what's so great about marriage?, page-25

fwp,

nicely corrected in that case - thanks for taking the time.


Homosexuality effects us all, right down to cousins, children and other family.
As does Self harm, drug abuse, violence and abuse, and its presence transcends grouping.

Personally, what i have done is open myself up to conversations. When having a sip, I take the opportunity to excuse myself at local coffee shops and befriend strangers for a chat about anything that fits the moment - as some may do when having a beer at the local club. There's an amazing world of moral diversity out there that surprises me everyday.

Last months i sat and talked with an elderly lady as she played a poker machine, in what seemed to be a bored session of escapism. In the moment, she smoked, she drank and she barely blinked while watching her screen roll over win after win. It took me about 5 times to crack her trance with my occassional smile whenever she won. Now this woman was up to several thousand dollars and until that day, i figured it would bring a smile to anyones 70yr old face.
Finally, after my final smile, she beckoned me to come and sit with her. Her face was a map dried up river beds, her skin aged with what looked to be a hard life of sun damage and smoking lines. Now i couldn't believe the the first thing she asked me,. as i was many years her younger and obviously attached to the person who i was sitting with, "Do you think i am attractive?".
My response was a challenged one, "well to be honest, i haven't considered it because it wasn't something i came here to consider, i simply wondered if you were impressed with your winnings?"
She never responded to the winning. She then asked "why is it that so many people come here and i'm yet to find anyone that is interested in having dinner with me?"

BTW, this was a Casino and it was Melbourne Cup Day.
I thought to myself, 'this very elderly lady, dressed to the highs and made up with expensive garb had come for a flirt, in her insecurity to find a man that was attracted to her - oh what a lonely woman'. So i just sat with her for a while and talked.
It turned out that she was stuck in what i consider to be an adolescent ego state wanting someone to reinforce her own sense of self attractiveness...but as time rolled on, she informed me that she was not just after someone to do that, she wanted it to be done by another woman as she was lesbian.
I nearly fell off my chair, i was so impressed!
She had been looking all her life...she took on Spirituality and 'became' a Tarot Reader at some point in her search and relied on that to find a new love and that search sent her to the Casino that day.

Basically, a lot of stuff came out of her head for a tipsy chat and if i could have made any judgments about this 70yr old 'lady'-type at the start of that day they would have all been very very wrong - 100% of them.
She was a very lonely teenager, stuck in an old lady's body, with insecurities that one might assume would be well ironed out by 50!
I imagine that she used poker machines and alcohol a lot, while she sat viced to her illusions in the name of love.

Until we look deeper, we can only see the surface and the surface can be both the illusion and the judgements we make can be the reflections of our self, including insecurities and desire.

So when i speak to people who are finding things hard, i think to the underlying motives and try to appreciate my own struggles in the same light...and it's a bit easier to understand why other people do what they do.

That's the answer to the question you asked "and what are we going to do about it?" - empathise, not criticise.


Cheers and have a great day :-)

L