when insults had class

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    These "glorious insults" are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
    "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy."
    - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
    - Winston Churchill

    "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
    - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
    - Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
    - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

    "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
    - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
    - Moses Hades

    "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
    - Abraham Lincoln

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
    - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend. If you have one."
    - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one."
    - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
    - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
    - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
    - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
    - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
    - Paul Keating

    "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
    - Jack E. Leonard

    "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
    - Robert Redford

    "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
    - Thomas Brackett Reed

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
    - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
    - Forrest Tucker

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
    - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
    - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...
    For support rather than illumination."
    - Andrew Lang (1844- 1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
    - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
    - Groucho Marx



 
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