Your last name stays put. - It's your choice whether or not you...

Your last name stays put. - It's your choice whether or not you change it.
The garage is all yours. - Tell that to my wife lol
Wedding plans take care of themselves. - Again, tell that to my wife lol
Chocolate is just another snack. - Yes, your point being?
You can be Prime Minister. - There have been a few females PM's in the world
You can never be pregnant. - We can't get paid to have them either
You can wear a white T-shirt to a
water park. - I won't mind if you do
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. - Again, I won't mind if you do
Car mechanics tell you
the truth. - How naive
The world is your urinal. -?
You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. - Male restrooms are usually just as bad.
You don't have to stop
and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. - What so hard, there are only two possible directions
Same work, more pay. - Not always, but in my experience it has always been easier for a woman to find work.
Wrinkles add character. - Vanity is a character flaw IMHO
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100. - But you still pay it.
People
never stare at your chest when you're talking to them - People don't kick you in the balls when they don't want to talk to you
The occasional
well-rendered belch is practically expected. - Granted New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet. - Why buy them?
One mood-all the time. ?
Phone conversations are over in
30 seconds flat. - Why do women feel the need to gibber for hours about sh!te
You know stuff about tanks. ?
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase. - We don't need to take the bathroom cabinet or 5 changes of clothes per day
You can open all your own jars. - Like a nut/bolt, just turn it the correct way
You get extra credit for
the slightest act of thoughtfulness. - But we get sued if we open the door for the wrong woman
If someone forgets to invite you, he or
she can still be your friend. - It's called forgiveness
Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. - Again, you still pay for it.
Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough. - Yes, your point being?
You almost never have strap problems in
public. - We have other things that need adjustment sometimes
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. - Who cares
Everything on your
face stays its original color. - What?
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. - Vanity again
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys
all your life. - ?
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one
pair of shoes one color for all seasons. - What happened to the other two pair?
You can wear shorts no matter how
your legs look. -Vanity yet again
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. - Teeth suffice
You have freedom
of choice concerning growing a mustache. -? You can do Christmas shopping for
25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. - Skill I guess