why we miss rodney dangerfield , page-3

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.