i acknowledge that you were engaging somewhat on the issue and certainly not on the person but over the course of the thread when everyone else sensibly opted out I’m responding not just to you but others.
there is more than one “conversation” happening at the same time
a couple of micro details
mansplaining is not trying to tell you what you think but explaining what one already knows or does not need explaining.
I was expressing my view of the general run of your arguments. I know what you were saying but you’ve also linked it to a generalised view of women. My objection is not whether that may hold in a statistical sense but whether it creates a box that all women are meant to live within.
you keep asking/suggesting that women can’t have both higher status men and higher status themselves. the problem with that is that you may not be talking about the same cohort. Because the views on this are quite likely to reflect the bell shaped curve (guessing) it also fails to consider the possibility that gender based norms and judgments and social pressure to behave that way leaves much less leeway for individual needs and interests.
might you go back to your original study - I think you drew a conclusion that may or may not have been demonstrated by the study. You comment as if it is women making the choice. Yet it is equally likely that there is something else in play - like mens choices. Maybe income is a compensation for being less well educated so there is an evening out of factors that might get in the way of a good connection. Maybe men don’t want women who are smarter, better educated or earn more than them so the more traditional practices remain in play - it thus being availability not preference
Yue Qian: For the most part, the tendency for women to marry up in income was greater among couples who shared the same education level: When compared with couples in which the wife had less education than the husband, the tendency for women to marry up in income was 54 percent higher among couples in which both spouses had a high school education, 31 percent higher among couples in which both spouses had some college education, and 23 percent higher among couples in which both spouses had a college degree or above
importance on the financial prospects of a potential spouse over time, some studies have suggested that they may value women’s high status only up to the point when women’s status exceeds their own status. Thus, men may hesitate to form marital relationships with women who have both more education and higher incomes than they do
the author quite specifically said she didn’t explore reasons. It is you who has made the conclusions.
women are also not entering into relationships as easily because they don’t want the traditional roles. I’d suggest that the study may point that way as well.
my commentary about toilets or whatever is as much that along with the gender roles and expectations you do reference in various ways come handmaiden expectations. I have neither the time nor energy to extract the data around consequences and woman’s attitudes on this but essentially women who work continue to pick up more of the domestic work.
as for my throw away - it’s simply the logical extension and thus a sarcastic response to your ongoing position that women want to have status but want men with more status. So I’m trying really hard to imagine what it would be like to care that much.
no it’s not about you or me. But at the same time it is personal. I’ve never fitted the gender box particularly well so it diesnt suit me at all well to have a world defined by those boxes as if opening them up might somehow bring the world or society undone
letting women navigate the change and work out for themselves what works seems more sensible to me. Part of navigating it is dealing with the fact that many men don’t like the idea - it disturbs their universe but others seem a great deal less perturbed by it and realise that true cooperation may involve loosening their views on gender roles as well.
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