An Kiwi ventriloquist visiting NSW walks into a small village...

An Kiwi ventriloquist visiting NSW walks into a small village near Grafton
and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Blues supporter
‘G’day, mind if I talk to your dog?’
Villager: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Kiwi.’
Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’
Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’
Blues Supporter: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (pointing at the villager)
Dog: ‘Yep’.
Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’
Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
takes me to the lake once a week to play.’
BS: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your cat?’
BS: ‘Uh, the cat doesn’t talk either…I think.’
Ventriloquist: ‘Hey cat, how’s it going?’
Cat: ‘Cool’
BS: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)
Cat: ‘Yep’
Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’
Cat: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He pats me regularly, brushes me
down often and keeps me in the house to protect me from the elements.’
BS: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’
Blues Supporter from Grafton: (in a panic) ‘No! No! The horse's a bloody liar……’