What a great day! Deserves a celebration. And what better way to...

What a great day! Deserves a celebration. And what better way to celebrate than an awards ceremony?

So, here are the inaugural “bhaggy shorts” awards. I selected all the prizes from the local Vinnies bin.

First up, we have the safari shorts. The crisp polyester allows facts to slide off without leaving a mark. The proverbial duck’s back, so to speak. This one goes to bythefly, with priceless lines, such as halloysite is everywhere. Great work fly. Here’s hoping you got hold of Imery’s CEO, to tell him they’re wasting their time shipping the stuff from NZ, they should just shovel it from their backyard.

For the next award we have the hobbo’s shorts. Threadbare and stained, these puppies say, hey, I tried. And who better to give this to than gigachad. Straight out of the gates punching, with ‘is this agreement binding?’ What he lacks in imagination, he compensates with effort. Well done!

Now, we have the emperor’s shorts. Children say these shorts don’t exist. But we know they do. And so this one goes to our missing friend, disgracie. We mightn’t see you, but we still love you.

Almost at the bottom of the barrel, is the borat-thong. Some claim these are not shorts. But we believe a hotdog is a sandwich, so all is okay. They are cheeky. They are naughty. Just make sure you shake out the old crabs before slipping into a pair, slayer.

Now for the assless chap shorts. Who better to don them then our very masculine Hingdog. You go get-em chopper! Next time you lay the boot into mum and dad investors, you can do it in style.

Lastly, we have the boxer-shorts. This garment rarely sees the light of day. I give them to our hidden shorter who recently offloaded 8M shares. Following our bombshell announcement, I’m pretty sure they’ll find these boxers a welcome change.