Greenie Lefties Occult

Over the weekend Fim Tannery (Secular Scientist) and Alan Bolt (political commentator) had another discussion on science behind Climate Change debate. They both were seated on stage facing an audience of Mr Bolts fan club. Mr Bolt asked Fim the first question.
“Fim Tannery what are your credentials, to comment on such a subject as Climate Change and the Human influence?” smugly asked Mr Bolt.
The crowd, to Fims bemusement were cheering and clapping with excitement.
“Alan’s got you!” someone yells, to more cheers.
Fim replied,
“Well, I have studied many secular science subjects that directly relate to the variables of the science in question”
“BOOOO!HiSSSS’ jeered the crowd.
Fim then asked Alan,
“Alan, what basic scientific law do ALL members of the secular science community unequivocally provide as the primary bases of all knowledge of Climatology and has allowed secular science to calculate humans contribution to the increase of energy added to climate cycles that have a fundamental effect on the planets current living ecosystems? ”
he asked.
Alan’s face began to go pail, a nervous sweat started beading from his brow.
“umm,derrr,umm” Mr Bolt stutters to find an answer.
Left without any words from Alan, the crowd becomes panicky.
A small child, tugs on his mums shirt and asks,
“Is he going to answer mum?”
Knowing Mr Bolts inability to answer the question, Alan’s Personal Assistant distracts the crowd via an on stage, graphic demonstration of stigmata.
Alan, still speechless is becoming frustrated at being put on the spot.
Every second without Alan words, the crowd fears anyone of them could start thinking for themselves, triggering the 1000yrs of biblical apocalypse. This fear, triggers the crowd into hysteria. Fim Tannery sensing the crowd is about to riot, throws Alan Bolt a lifeline.
“ Pssst, Alan the answer is famously pictured on the cover of Pink Floyds album ‘Dark side of the Moon’.” Fim says to Mr Bolt.
The colour returns to Alan’s face, he stands to address the crowd.
The crowd silences, now aware of Mr Bolts divinity they wait with whimsical anticipation for his benevolent response.
Then while pointing at Fim Tannery with one hand and fist pumping the air with the other. Mr Bolt yells,
“.GREENIE!, LEFTIE!, OCCULT!”
The crowd goes nuts “ YEAH that’s right!”
….GREENIES! …LEFTIES!…OCCULT!
….GREENIES! …LEFTIES!…OCCULT!
….GREENIES! …LEFTIES!…OCCULT!” they all chant in immaculate, harmonious unison. Sections of the crowd have lost all self control, convulsing and screaming in a seen reminiscent of ‘Beatle Mania’. Alan Bolt is showered in flowers, stained whites, flannelette and corduroy. Fim Tannery, dejected, sighs and places his head in his hands.

The next day, a journalist who was not present at the event wrote and article for the Australian newspaper based on the eyewitness accounts of a deaf person who drove past the end of the event.

The Australian-
[By all accounts it was evident that Alan Bolt’s superior intellect had pressured Fim Tannery into the shocking admission. Secular Climate Science is FAKE. The purpose of this secular science was to re-distribute wealth. The conspiracy had been master minded by Pink Floyd to boost record sales. Mr Tannery had reportedly admitted to Mr Bolt. Further fuelling speculation of collusion between the secular science community, Pink Floyd and the Australian Government it was revealed that PM Julia Gillard had in fact heard ‘Dark side of the Moon’ on a number of occasions. In fact, during one meeting with none other than Bob Brown, the song ‘Money’ was playing on ABC radio at the very same time Al Gore was seen in an American shopping centre where the album was available for sale.
‘Ummm… arhhh…haha.. yeah… the collusion is most evident’ Tony Abbott was quoted in saying after he heard the revelation. A full judicial inquiry has been called for to examine the full extent of the Pink Floyd material being distributed amongst the political parties... ] the article reads.

Mr Dolts personal assistant, after treatment from wounds suffered from stigmata, posted on a public forum CopperHot, under the username ‘77Slats’ a link to the Australian newspaper article which received 40 thumbs up. Which was 5 higher than the second most thumbed up post “greenies, lefties, occult” posted by benDaddleyz. Which left XianLove’s post “we are Christians, do as your told or else!” in third with 31 thumbs up.

The small child at the event, who thought for themselves before Mr Bolt spoke, has been sent to a Private Christian Boarding school in hopes an exorcism and then segregation from any secular influences would remove any future tendencies of free thinking.